Effective Communication Skills Training

What My Neighbour's Cat taught me About Communication

2009-10-19T02:21:00.000-07:00

Igor is a large, muscly Russian Blue cat that loves to sleep for most of the day, get scratched under his neck and play a short game of string (has to be short – or else he falls asleep).
When our neighbours are away at work, he likes to visit us and sleep in our front garden.
Occasionally, he likes to grace us with his presence inside our place. To ensure we look after him in the way he is accustomed to at home, he communicates clearly and consistently about what he requires.
Being the laidback cat that he is, he is not into wasting words (or meows). He always has one demand at a time and will keep at his request until we obey. We have learnt that a meow can signal any of the following: “cuddle me”, let’s play with string”, ”feed me”, “let me out now!” or “can I come in?”
He supplements his meows with appropriate body language that always make it clear which of these needs must be met. When he wants a cuddle he will climb up your leg meowing and when he wants to play with string he meows then lightly paws at the stationary yarn. He will also look you right into the eyes when he wants something.
His method of communication is very simple, yet extremely effective. He has managed to teach us very quickly what he wants and his approach is always the same. And when all else fails and we appear to be ignoring him, he tears down our hallway making so much noise that we always get up to see what he wants.
We can all learn from Igor’s direct approach. His method can be used in any area of life where a message needs to be communicated: from telling your boss that you need a holiday to telling customers the benefits of your products.
In our field of creating successful promotional and training videos, Igor has reinforced to us why our videos are so good at getting a message across. This communication medium works because it:
1. Clearly conveys one message at a time
2. Uses visual cues to supplement the desired message
3. Repeats the message a few times
4. Adds interesting visual effects to grab attention.
So the next time you have an important message to convey, make sure you do the following:
1. Communicate one message at a time
2. Look people right into their eyes
3. Use appropriate body language
4. Do not give up/repeat your message
5. Go for shameless attention-grabbing techniques if needed (optional).
Of course, Igor’s tactic only works when people take the time to find out what he wants. Which is why you should always try to get your message across to the right target audience.
But despite Igor’s excellent communication skills, there’s one thing that we just don’t understand. He likes to put his right paw on our face and hold our head still, while he delicately sucks our nose! Think we better ask his parents about that one.

3 Memory Techniques That Everyone Should Know

2009-04-03T03:51:00.000-07:00

Do you find that you could achieve more in your life if you improved your memory considerably? Maybe you feel like this is not possible. Well I have to tell you from what I have seen, it is definitely possible. I have seen OAPs remember every single book of the Bible in order. So imagine what these tips on 3 memory techniques could do for you.
List Technique
If you want to remember things that are in lists, use this technique called the link method. It lets you create a story based upon the items you want to remember and they all have to appear in order. Put the items in the story and make it as wacky as possible so it is easier to remember. For example, let us say that you want to remember eggs and milk and cheese to bring home from the shop.
Picture yourself walking into the shop and The man behind the counter for some strange reason has cheese sticking our of his ear. You go to prod it in and when you do you hear a chicken sound and he lays an egg! This is wierd. Next thing you know, A huge bottle of milk the size of a fridge falls onto him and squashes him. See how easy that is to remember?
Metaphors
One of the best ways to remember things is through metaphors. It can sometimes be hard to remember things when you did not learn them well the first time. Learn them well by using metaphors from things that you already know. For example, if you are trying to understand the concept of compound interest, imagining it as it being like a snowball rolling down a hill and accumulating more as it gets bigger makes it easier to understand and more memorable.
Mind Mapping
Mind mapping will help you fill gaps in your memory and find links that you did not even know existed. What you do is write out the central concept of what you are trying to remember in the middle of a page and branch out, keep on branching out until you are at the finer concepts. By having an overall view of what you are trying to memorise, you can bring it down to smaller chunks and make it more manageable.

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Why Trying Equals Failure

2009-03-28T00:22:00.000-07:00

Some of my clients think I'm harsh, cruel, heartless and a real jerk who is negative towards them when they're trying to be positive and think they're succeeding. These are clients who want some type of change in their lives. Some wanted to earn more money, grow their business or be better managers of their time. Others wanted to change their attitude and focus on the positives instead of the negatives when it came to health or weight loss. Still others wanted to feel like they could get off the treadmill of life and not be so busy.
And they all said the same thing... Why are you being so negative?
Let me share with you the conversation that leads up to this question...
Me: So now we've figured out what your objective is and come up with an action plan. Are you excited? Them: Yes, I'm excited. I'm going to try and follow it as best as I can. Me: This is a plan that if followed will get you exactly what you want. Them: Yes, I know, I'm going to try to change my attitude and get all these things done each day. Me: Maybe this plan is too aggressive for you, we should re-think it. Them: No! I said I was going to try to follow it. I don't understand why you think we need to change it. Me: Because try = fail. Them: You're so mean to me! You're supposed to encourage me!
How can I make such a statement as "Try equals fail..." when people are sincere about creating change?
Because it's true. Any time someone says try, it is a soft commitment. I'll try gives people an easy excuse to not follow through with what they say they're going to do. Think about it...
"Honey, could you make sure you get to the store today?"
"I'll try..."
If the errand is run you're a hero, but more likely something will come up... Well, you didn't promise you would go to the store. You said you'd try and you did... It just didn't fit into the day.I'll try is the precursor to failure. Don't accept them as commitments, give them as commitments... And most importantly of all, don't get into the "I'll try" mindset when it comes to the pursuit of your own goals.

Effective Goal Setting - There's No Need to Cheat Death to Appreciate Life

2009-03-25T04:31:00.000-07:00

If you narrowly avoided death, how different would life be? Would you set any meaningful goals?
We know from the media interviews how many of the 155 passengers and crew aboard US Airways Flight 1549 answer this question. Every one of them survived landing in New York's icy river in what has become known as the Miracle of the Hudson, thanks to their amazing pilot, Captain Chesley Sullenberger.
Taking off from La Guardia Airport on a routine journey to Charlotte, North Carolina, their plane suffered a bird strike at 3,200 feet, knocking out both engines and, effectively, turning it into a 77-tonne glider that was dropping at 18 feet a second. At 500 feet, the passengers were told: "Brace for impact."
Some prayed while others phoned or sent text messages to loved ones. When they survived the impact, they feared they might die in the water.
Those who shared their story acknowledged that life would be different from this point. A common comment was that they had been "touched by a miracle" that had told them they still had much to do with their lives. They had important goals. One passenger seized her "second chance" telling interviewers shortly after the incident that she and her husband had registered to adopt a child.
If these people didn't know how to make the most of life before that life-defining incident, they do now.
Paul McGee, international speaker, author and creator of the SUMO - Shut Up, Move On personal development programme, can relate to this. He recalls the time he went home for some sleep after his wife had an emergency operation. Medical staff said they would send a police officer if they needed him urgently.
At 3am, an officer knocked and Paul feared that his wife had been taken from him after only a year of marriage. The reality was different. His car had been stolen and abandoned. He went from despair to joy in seconds. The police officer could not understand why someone was rejoicing because their car had been stolen.
Paul said: "That reminded me of what is of real lasting value in my life. Possessions can be replaced, people can't. Creating and enjoying a brilliant life is something I want to experience with someone close to me."
"Focus on what is important. That is much harder to do when you haven't thought about what is actually important."
After that incident, he lost his job through chronic fatigue syndrome but fought back by starting his own successful business. "I am waking up to the fact that life is a privilege and with privilege comes responsibility," he added.
Paul has a final thought for readers of his book SUMO - the Straight Talking Guide to Creating and Enjoying a Brilliant Life.
"You may remember watching quiz shows when the contestant fails to win the main prize. At the end of the programme, the still-smiling quiz master proclaims: 'Look what you could have won.'
"At the end of my show on this planet, I don't want to be told: 'Look what you could have won, look what you could have done, look what you could have become."

Mirror Work - Learn to Love Yourself

2009-03-17T02:06:00.000-07:00

Too often we seek validation from other people, when what we really need is to learn to love ourselves. No one else can make us feel joy or sadness, these are feelings that are completely within our own power and control. Each and every day, we as individuals make a choice to be happy and content with ourselves, or to beat ourselves up and be miserable for the traits we "lack." True confidence comes from accepting ourselves as we are, recognizing that no one is perfect, and loving ourselves completely. Each one of us is a Divine spark of greatness. It is only when we recognize this that we are capable of spreading our love and light so that other people may benefit from the gifts we have to offer.
Mirror Work is a very powerful exercise to increase Self-Esteem and remind us of our excellence. When we look into the mirror, most of us are used to criticizing what we see and focusing on what needs "fixing." It can be very difficult to look into the mirror and tell yourself, "I love you and accept you completely."
To begin, start by writing down 5 things you like about yourself. Do this for one week, writing down a new 5 things each day. At first it may seem difficult, but this is just resistance from years of finding fault with yourself. You may start off by including some physical attributes, which is fine. Challenge yourself to include other qualities and traits that you possess (e.g. "I am great at making people smile when they are down," "I make the best oatmeal-raisin cookies!"). It may help to think of compliments people have given you. It doesn't matter how small or insignificant you think it is, everything is an important aspect of who you are. These are what make you unique!
At the end of the week, take your list and read it aloud in front of a mirror. You may feel uncomfortable at first, or even angry. Some people begin to cry, some may laugh. This is good! The mirror reflects our feelings and tells us what we need to change in ourselves. Allow yourself to be vulnerable during this exercise. No one is judging you! Soon, you will realize that you have spent years judging and criticizing yourself more harshly than you would ever do to a friend or loved one! Repeat this exercise often. And every time you are in front of a mirror, tell yourself, "I love you and accept you completely." In time, you will come to believe it and you will realize that yours in the only opinion that matters. When you love yourself, your light shines so brightly that others can't help but be attracted to you and want to know your secret.

Success Tips

2009-03-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

2009 is a new year, a new beginning! As you enter 2009, what changes do you want to make this year? What are your priorities? Do you want to eat healthier, lose weight, manage your time more efficiently, decrease your stress level, increase your productivity, secure a new job/change careers, become a better person/friend/parent, develop healthier relationships or create a healthy balance between your personal and professional life?
If you answered yes to any of these questions or have another goal in mind, your next step is to actually make the change. This is where people get stuck. Often, people desire a change but the thought of it is overwhelming. They don't know where to start. They don't know if they have the time or energy to tackle the change. They have many tasks/projects on their plate competing for their attention. They tell themselves that they will get to it later. However, they never seem to get back to it. Does this sound like you?
When a change seems too big or overwhelming, try the following steps:
1. Identify the change (goal) you want to create.
2. Develop a list breaking your goal down into small, manageable, action steps (objectives). You can list as many action steps as you need to successfully complete your goal. For each action step, make sure that it is: - Clear/well-defined - when you read it, does it make sense? Do you know exactly what you need to do to complete that action step? - Realistic - is the step actually achievable? Do you have the time, energy, and resources to complete the action step? - Measurable - how will you know when the action step has been completed? How will you measure its success? - Time limited - set a date for completion of each action step. Make sure you monitor your deadlines to ensure you achieve them.
For example, you may want to lose 25 pounds. You decide to begin work on your goal January 1st. Your first step might be to call three weight loss centers in your community and obtain membership fee quotes by January 31st. This is a clear objective (you know exactly what you need to do), it is realistic (you have approximately four weeks to make the three phone calls and obtain quotes), it is measurable (you can measure whether or not your calls were made and quotes obtained by January 31st; you either made these calls and obtained quotes or you didn't), and it is time-limited (you set a January 31st deadline to complete this step).
After you complete one action step, proceed to the next one and so forth until all of your action steps have been completed. Remember to allow yourself sufficient time to complete each step, but don't forget to assign a deadline to each step.
3. On a regular basis (e.g., weekly), review your list and action steps to ensure you are completing each step according to its assigned deadline. There may be times when completing an action step is not possible due to extenuating circumstances (e.g., family emergencies, illnesses, child care, last minute work/school assignments). However, make sure that you go back to that step and establish another deadline that is still realistic. Changing one deadline may affect your other action steps, so review them as well for possible modification.
4. Once you've achieved your goal, celebrate your hard work and success. You've created the change you desired.
The exercise mentioned above is a great way to pace yourself, decrease your anxiety, and facilitate the change you truly desire.

Self -Improvement - Take Care of the Little Things That Bother You

2009-03-12T03:25:00.000-07:00

When we have trouble following through on a goal we set for ourselves it may be time to try a different approach. It could be that our energy is being zapped by little things that we have not taking care of.
Most of us have learned to tolerate a lot. Some of it we do because we have been taught not to make waves or speak up others we just don't get around to doing. These might be things like not putting something away, having a messy home and work environment, asking for extensions on the income tax filing date, not sewing on a button, or not following through on what we say we are going to do. All these tolerations take energy because they continue to pop up in your mind. The little unfinished tolerations are energy zappers. In order to gain more energy to tackle bigger goals it can help to take care of the smaller unsaid or unfinished things first.
Here are seven useful tips for taking care of little things you are putting up with:
1. Take out pencil and paper and write down twelve items that you want to eliminate from your energy drainer list.
2. Cross out the ones that will take more than 15 minutes to accomplish. If you have crossed all of them off, start over until you have five on your list.
3. It is important that you have items that you know you can take care off relatively quickly. The reason is that you want to feel success at eliminating some of your energy zappers.
4. By choosing five you can do them in a week. You want to make a commitment to yourself to accomplish the five.
5. Do this exercise for a month. After a month you will have taken care of 20 things that you have been putting up with. If you want to have some that take more then 15 minutes - either do it several 15 minute chunks or at once. Your commitment is to take care of 20 things that have been draining your energy.
6. By taking care of smaller doable items you are strengthening your ability to take yourself seriously.
7. At the end of the month add more items and decide what time commitment you want to attach to them. The stronger your commitment is to your own word the greater will be your success at achieving goals you set for yourself.

The Language We Use Matters

2009-03-11T01:48:00.000-07:00

Listening to Barack Obama's interview that was aired recently on Al Arabiya TV, I heard him say these words in reference to many of the problems in the Middle East: the language we use matters. Although he was referring to the way the problems in that region are expressed by those of us in other areas of the world, and in particular the press and political leaders past and present, it immediately made me think of it in other terms.
What language do we use to express ourselves inside our heads - our self-talk - about ourselves and what we do and what we plan? Specifically, which words are we using during this self-talk?
Further, what language do we use to express ourselves verbally, when in conversation with others? What words are we hearing ourselves say over and over again?
Are they words that serve to empower us, or do we use words that weaken us, and that lower our energetic frequency? Think about it: when your young child makes a mistake, do you encourage, bolster and support him or her, so that they will try again, with the belief that next time they will do better, or succeed? Or do you cut them down, criticize and belittle them?
Now: in a similar situation, how do you speak to yourself?
What about when you run into a snag during your day? Not necessarily a mountain, just a little snag, but one that is enough to lower your energy ... if you allow it by the messages you send yourself.
Do you say things like:
- Not again! - I really could have done without this! - Why does stuff like this always happen to me? - I just knew it couldn't continue as smoothly as it had been going... - Wouldn't you know it ... just when things were going so well. - Typical ... my usual bad luck.
Or do you watch your language and say things like:
- Let's see ... how do we solve this in the best way? - What's the quickest way to get around this? - Wow ... now that I think about it, this is actually good, because it let me see a new perspective. Without it, I would never have come to this conclusion ... which is actually much better in the long term - So this is what Ford meant when he said that failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently if Lincoln / Edison / Einstein / Ford could pick themselves up, so can I! - So this is what Kennedy meant when he said "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly"
The point is not so much that you use words of this nature verbatim, but that you remember their general gist when you need to in order that you maintain your inner energy - your inner sense of purpose - in a good place, rather than going down because of the language you use.
I often refer to energy from the point of view of how you feel inside, of the frequency at which your inner state of being is vibrating, and there are many articles about this subject here on the blog (click on the label below). In order to maintain this energy at an optimum level at all times, it is expedient to take good care of that energy. If you want to maintain a toned body, with strong muscles, it is clear that you must do something about that body and those muscles. It's the same thing with this energy I'm referring to. Many, many things - many easy things - can be done, as long as they are done frequently (as you would exercise frequently in order to maintain a toned body), in order to maintain such a state of good energy.

Do You Respect Yourself?

2009-03-07T00:13:00.000-08:00

One of the first things you should be asking yourself when looking for a woman is, 'If I were a woman, would I find me attractive?' OK I know it sounds a little strange but it does make perfect sense. No I'm not talking about your physical looks but more who you are as a person. Think of an example like this; a guy sits in his room all day lazing about getting fat and lonely. Let's say this person decides to go out and meet some HOT CHICKS! Put yourself in this guys shoes. Hopefully it shouldn't be too easy!
I want you to ask yourself exactly how you feel right now being in this guys' smelly shoes. Exactly how successful do you think he is going to be tonight? Sure he's earned a little respect from me for going out and taking a risk for once but just think for a minute about how his life right now is influencing all those signals he's giving out. He's become so self-conscious about how terrible his life is, that you can literally see it written on his face.
Now imagine a guy who works out every day. He eats healthily, he's got a job, hobbies, friends, aspirations. On Saturdays he does charity work for the homeless. He takes a dance class and also does a little kick boxing too. He's had trouble getting laid in his life but he's working on himself completely. He's chatty and tries to make conversation with all kinds of people. He has a positive attitude and isn't afraid to assert himself as an alpha male. He speaks clearly and from the heart. He knows what he believes and doesn't compromise his opinions for anyone. His friends and family respect him for being the same on the inside as he is on the outside. He is not afraid of taking risks and he is not afraid of exploring his sexuality.
Right, well it may take a slightly bigger leap of the imagination to insert yourself into the shoes of superman here but I want you to give it a try. Imagine for a moment being this man. I hope you can understand the point I'm trying to illustrate here. To give yourself a good chance with women you need to respect yourself. You need to enjoy being in your own company and you need to be shaping your life into something that you have admired in other people.

Did We Choose Our Parents Prior to Birth?

2009-03-06T03:05:00.000-08:00

Is it possible that by some divine design we chose our parents prior to our birth?
If you think about the influence your parents... and your lineage ... has on who you have become, then this is not only possible, but probable.
It makes one wonder, "What would I be like if I had different parents?"
When I was young a local grocer's store fascinated me. His store was full of interesting smells, colorful bottles, and displays. But most of all I was attracted to his antique cash register. How often I would fantasize that if this handsome man had been my father, I could work in this wonderful store.
But the girl who worked in that store, could not have been me, for the father equation would have changed. She would be similar to me, in the traits that I inherited from my mother; but the father's equation would have totally changed.
So why did you choose your parents? What about your lineage?
Just think that if one ancestor had changed, that would have affected the traits and personalities of all of his or her descendents.
Would George Washington have led a nation to freedom and become its first president with different parentage?
Would Alex Haley have written the best-selling "Roots" with different lineage?
We are on the leading edge of where our parents came from; and our children are born from our leading edge.
What traits could have influenced your child to pick you as his parent? After all, it's easy to sit back and analyze our parents and say - this was a good trait, this was not acceptable behavior - but self examination from our own child's perspective may give new insight to our own nature.
By looking at our lineage in this way, we shed a new light on whom we are and where we came from. This introspection can lead the way towards enlightenment and empowerment.

Brain Myth No 3

2009-03-05T00:18:00.000-08:00

You can't teach an old dog new tricks!
Yes, you can!
One of society's most harmful misconceptions about brain power is that it gets worse as you grow older. Research has proved that any decreases in the intellectual skills of the elderly are mainly due to the adoption of stereotyped roles. Just as a child who sees himself as dumb and is regarded as slow-witted by adults starts to act out that part, so too do many older men and women slip into the trap of living down to popular expectations. It is a vicious circle of decline which, once started, may prove hard to stop. Because they regard themselves as incapable of meeting new intellectual challenges many older people get into a mental rut. They live unstimulating lives where few unfamiliar problems ever present themselves to challenge their brains back into shape.
The mind, just like other organs in the body, must work hard in order to sustain the capacity for hard work - hence the value and importance of your Brain Gym training.
Take too little physical exercise and your muscles will quickly go weak, your stamina decline, and your strength fade. It is the same with the brain. Remove the necessary stimulation of a demanding job, take away the need to resolve difficult problems and make tricky decisions, absolve the person from having to use his or her memory with the excuse: "After forty almost everyone becomes more absentminded," and you quickly undermine intellectual performance.
One reason why this myth gained ground so readily and was so widely accepted, even by those who suffered most as a result, was a belief that brain cells die off progressively as we age since such cells, unlike others in the body, cannot regenerate.
Marian Diamond, the eminent California neuroanatomist, examined this notion in a series of animal studies and clearly showed that though there is a small decrease in the number of brain cells as animals mature to adulthood, from then on such decline remains absolutely minimal.
Do we find it harder to learn something new or solve problems as we grow older?
Not according to the findings of Geoffrey Naylor and Elsie Harwood of the University of Queensland, Australia, who conducted a six month study to investigate the ability of a group of senior citizens to learn German. Their classes contained some of the most mature students in the history of education, with a total age of approaching a thousand years! But the fact that every pupil was more than sixty years old did not prevent them from working hard or mastering the unfamiliar language successfully. Each one had to attend a two-hour weekly class and work at least one hour at home.
In just half a year many students reached a standard only attained by the average secondary school senior pupil after two years of continuous study. Dr. Naylor commented: "Far from being unreliable and forgetful, the majority of our elderly students have shown a dogged resolution worthy of students fifty years younger."
Similar results were reported at the University of San Diego where students aged sixty and older were brought onto the campus for an intensive program of classes in various academic subjects together with physical training sessions. Their response was described by one of the project's organizers as "absolutely phenomenal," with a performance which more than matched that of far younger under-graduates. Overall they were found to have attained a standard of excellence "far beyond expectation."
Everything that I have said here applies to you. When I talked about the brain possessing almost unlimited memory capacity and problem-solving ability I was describing your brain.

A Discussion about Facilitation Skills

2009-03-03T01:58:00.000-08:00

Q: Would you tell me a little bit about the culture at Sauer-Danfoss?

Julia: About nine years ago, Dave Pfeifle, President and CEO had a vision for us to change our culture. We, at one time, were part of the Sundstrand Corporation, and as such, over time, had evolved into a company that was fairly autocratic and not very customer focused. It was not only Dave’s vision for that to change, but it was also a time when our customers were beginning to let us know that if that was the way we were going to do business, they were going to need to find other companies to provide the same type of product that we provide. Dave’s vision then became what is now known as Reaching for Excellence. It is not a program. It is our company’s vision statement. It represents our philosophy of who we are. There was not a training program here at that time. Part of Dave’s vision was to have a learning base to help promote and support that kind of cultural changes. It’s really been an evolutionary process over the last eight or nine years. It is something that CMOE has played and integral part in.

Q: How did your relationship with CMOE begin?

Julia - One of the first things we did was to preview the Coaching Skills Workshop in California. We decided that it was a class that we wanted to bring in-house. That class and a Customer Awareness Class, that I created, were really the cornerstone classes for what now has become one of our core courses in the whole training program. As time evolved, we continued to build on that foundation of learning with other classes such as Teamwork I and Teamwork II and other types of learning. So there was a lot of internal training going on.

Q – Can you tell me about how Facilitation Skills came about?

Julia – About five years ago, I was getting feedback from team leaders, facilitators (supervisors), and when I sat in on meetings, it was clear that we were still struggling. We had structured ourselves into teams throughout the organization, but we struggled, when we got people together, to make those meetings as effective as possible. From (my) observation and from feedback, it was very clear that we needed to be doing some thing to build on the Coaching Skills training to give these people some skills on how to facilitate a group. Coaching, I think does a superior job of giving people skills for one-on-one coaching situations. You can even apply a lot of those skills to a group session, but we really wanted something that was more specific to facilitating groups. So a couple of managers went with me to Des Moines to preview a two-day class on Facilitation Skills, and we found that it was pretty typical of what is out there in the industry. We wanted more of what I would call the soft side or the behavioral side of group facilitation. In other words, when people were facilitating groups, they wanted to enhance involvement, help to focus the group without directing the group, how to help the group feel good about what they were doing and actually have fun with it, while helping the group be more effective and efficient.

Even as we started to develop this Facilitation Skills program with CMOE, we struggled. Early on, I remember getting on the phone with Steve Stowell to just talk out some of the issues because it was so different from anything either of us had seen in the consulting industry. Steve and I continued to struggle with how we should put this course together, and what it should look like, because for me, it is really on that soft side. It is not a skill. It’s being able to use your intuition and read a group and read the dynamics in a group and know how to react to the flow of what is going on in a group, and pull people in or help to redirect other people if they are not contributing in a positive manner, again without controlling the group.

Q – So is there just not a lot of material out there on Facilitation Skills?

Julia – There is a lot of courses out there on Facilitation, but nothing like what CMOE has created. If you look at what is out there on the market they don’t have the same focus that CMOE’s course does. A lot of what we were seeing out there under the name of Facilitation Skills is really meeting management. There is a big difference. This is really more facilitating group interaction or ‘high performance’ facilitation.

Q – What is the target audience for Facilitation Skills?

Julia – The plan was that it would end up being for everybody. The original goal was to first give the skills to management, and then give it to all employees. When managers were first going through the course, the feedback we got was that it would be extremely useful for the team members to have the same skills. It would make facilitating the group so much easier if everyone understood what was going on in terms of task, climate, and behavior.

Q – Can you see any improvement in your facilitators as a result of being committed to the Facilitation Skills Workshop?

Julia – Absolutely! The people that were in the first class have definitely noticed an improvement in their facilitation skills. We haven’t done any structured observations, but just from our ad hoc types of settings where they are leading the group and I am a part of the group, I have definitely seen an improvement. I think it plays out, not only in terms of a structured meeting, but also in how they go about doing their jobs on a day-to-day basis, because the principles that are taught in Facilitation Skills, as with Coaching, go beyond just the structured setting. Yes, I have seen a lot of improvement in those people, and it mainly has to do with their confidence level.

Eleminate these Communication Skills Barriers

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Here are the 7 top barriers.

1. Physical barriersPhysical barriers in the workplace include:

marked out territories, empires and fiefdoms into which strangers are not allowed
closed office doors, barrier screens, separate areas for people of different status
large working areas or working in one unit that is physically separate from others.
Research shows that one of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as people still have a personal space that they can call their own, nearness to others aids communication because it helps us get to know one another.

2. Perceptual barriers

The problem with communicating with others is that we all see the world differently. If we didn't, we would have no need to communicate: something like extrasensory perception would take its place.
The following anecdote is a reminder of how our thoughts, assumptions and perceptions shape our own realities:

A traveller was walking down a road when he met a man from the next town. "Excuse me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in the next town tonight. Can you tell me what the townspeople are like?"
"Well," said the townsman, "how did you find the people in the last town you visited?"
"Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to themselves. Took me for a fool. Over-charged me for what I got. Gave me very poor service."

"Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find them pretty much the same here."

3. Emotional barriers

One of the chief barriers to open and free communications is the emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear, mistrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrust of others lie in our childhood and infancy when we were taught to be careful what we said to others.

"Mind your P's and Q's"; "Don't speak until you're spoken to"; "Children should be seen and not heard". As a result many people hold back from communicating their thoughts and feelings to others.
They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise in certain relationships, excessive fear of what others might think of us can stunt our development as effective communicators and our ability to form meaningful relationships.

4. Cultural barriers

When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooner or later we need to adopt the behaviour patterns of the group. These are the behaviours that the group accept as signs of belonging.
The group rewards such behaviour through acts of recognition, approval and inclusion. In groups which are happy to accept you, and where you are happy to conform, there is a mutuality of interest and a high level of win-win contact.
Where, however, there are barriers to your membership of a group, a high level of game-playing replaces good communication.

5. Language barriers

Language that describes what we want to say in our terms may present barriers to others who are not familiar with our expressions, buzz-words and jargon. When we couch our communication in such language, it is a way of excluding others. In a global market place the greatest compliment we can pay another person is to talk in their language.

One of the more chilling memories of the Cold War was the threat by the Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev saying to the Americans at the United Nations: "We will bury you!" This was taken to mean a threat of nuclear annihilation.

However, a more accurate reading of Khruschev's words would have been: "We will overtake you!" meaning economic superiority. It was not just the language, but the fear and suspicion that the West had of the Soviet Union that led to the more alarmist and sinister interpretation.

6. Gender barriers

There are distinct differences between the speech patterns in a man and those in a woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000 words a day whereas a man speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. In childhood, girls speak earlier than boys and at the age of three, have a vocabulary twice that of boys.
The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's brains. When a man talks, his speech is located in the left side of the brain but in no specific area. When a woman talks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two specific locations.

This means that a man talks in a linear, logical and compartmentalised way, features of left-brain thinking; whereas a woman talks more freely mixing logic and emotion, features of both sides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for much longer than men each day.

7 Interpersonal barriers

There are six levels at which people can distance themselves from one another:

Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both refusal to be in touch and time alone.
Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact.
Pastimes fill up time with others in social but superficial activities.

Working activities are those tasks which follow the rules and procedures of contact but no more.
Games are subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing. They include "rackets" and "stamps".

Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact where there is a high level of honesty and acceptance of yourself and others.

How to Easily Improve your Communication Skills?

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If the thought of speaking in front of an audience sends you into a cold sweat, then this Inc.com guide is for you. Communication experts and CEOs share their strategies for smooth communications with employees, making winning presentations to investors, writing and delivering speeches that get standing ovations, and much more.

Better Communication with Employees and Peers

A Crash Course in Communication Need a quick refresher on effective interpersonal interaction? Two communication experts offer 12 steps to smoother conversations. Lost in Translation Thanks to e-mail, BlackBerrys, and text messaging, the face-to-face encounter is becoming a dying art. Here's why you should revive it. The Power of Listening How does an old-line manufacturer in a stagnant industry manage to grow 25% a year for 10 years?

By taking its employees seriously. Do as I Say: Quick Tips for Masterful Communication Tired of doing all the talking and not having your message get through to your staff? Try these suggestions to improve your leadership communication skills. Just Listen to Yourself Tape yourself to better understand your communications style. Powerful Questions Can Have a Powerful Effect Questions can be one of the most effective communication tools available to us.

Do you use questions enough in your day-to-day interactions? When Do You Lie? Strategies For More Authentic, Respectful Communication Lies come in all shapes, sizes and colors. (Ever heard of flat-out, teensy or white lies?) This article focuses on when it's appropriate, if at all, to lie. 10 Tips for Communicating Change Transition is inevitable, but exactly what you say and how you say it can make a major impact on how change is handled in your company.

The 4-1-1 On Constructive Criticism Being critical is easy, and offering criticism seems easier still. Yet constructive criticism - - the more refined and effective brand of critical feedback - - is like an art. Lost in the Translation Tips on communicating with employees who don't speak English. Talk Targets: Becoming a Magnet In this excerpt from How to Work a Room:

The Ultimate Guide to Savvy Socializing in Person and Online learn tips for becoming a talk target -- someone with whom it is easy to make conversation. Presentations and PitchesPowerful Presentations Small-business columnist Rhonda Abrams shares nine strategies for giving powerful presentations. Reinventing the PowerPoint New tech tools to liven your tired old PowerPoint presentations--and give your online marketing efforts a boost. Perfecting Your Pitch Check out these tips from entrepreneurs and business experts on creating pitches that can help you raise capital. More Power Than Point PowerPoint (or "presentation software") has become the lingua franca of American business.

It's also become the problem with American business. Best of the Net: Power Brokers When it comes to presentation software, most users agree there's one clear standard. We've found some Web-based resources to help you make your point. Captivate Audiences with Powerful Presentations Do you want your speeches to pack a punch? Professional speaker and speech consultant Patricia Fripp offers ideas on humor, movement, and vocal techniques. Short and Sweet: Mastering Quick Presentations Called on to make a brief speech? Professional speaker and speech coach Patricia Fripp offers tips for saying what you want, short and sweet. Present Before You Propose Improve your presentation by saving handouts until the end. Finding the Perfect Pitch Watch three rookies gear up for the investor presentation of a lifetime.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Presenters Entrepreneurs learn pretty quickly that making a verbal pitch to investors is very different from submitting a written business plan. Here are seven good practices gleaned from a venture-capital boot camp. Elements of a Winning Pitch A presentation to potential investors in your business -- to family, friends, or angels -- should include most of these elements. MeetingsEscape From Meeting Hell It's time for another soul-sapping, oxygen-depriving, time-wasting, mind-numbing company meeting. Or is it? We offer 15 clever solutions to the problems with most meetings. Meetings Go Virtual Web conferencing and other collaboration technologies -- tools that help people work with one another through their computers -- have become more available and affordable.

This is a boon for smaller companies whose only previous collaboration option was to gather workers in a room with coffee, donuts and a whiteboard. Meetings 101: Was That a Good Meeting, or a Bad One? Five simple factors that help ensure every meeting is a good meeting.

Tools for Boosting Communication Effectiveness Tips on how to boost the effectiveness of communication in meetings, during change initiatives, and in interviews. How can we make our meetings more effective and educational? Keith Lamb shares some advice on getting the most out of your meetings. Cure the Sick-Meeting Ills Ineffective meetings may be wasting time and lowering morale. Two communication experts offer seven strategies for dramatically improving your meetings. We've Got to Start Meeting Like This A look at companies that hold unique meetings for developing products, building camaraderie, generating ideas, and reviewing employees' needs and achievements. Speech Writing and DeliveryWriting and Organizing a Winning Speech Public speaker and speech consultant Patricia Fripp suggests following one of two basic outlines for your speech. She also offers speechwriting tips. Polishing and Rehearsing for a Perfect Presentation You've written a speech, but there's still work to do before delivering it.

Patricia Fripp gives six suggestions for making sure your speech hits home along with several ideas on effective rehearsing. Deliver a Stellar Speech Powerful presentations happen when you check out the room in advance and work to connect with the audience when talking. Patricia Fripp offers ideas for ensuring that what you say is a smashing success. No More Pre-Speech Jitters From virtual reality therapy to positive visualization, we've got relaxation techniques to help offset your fears of public speaking. Free Speech Preparing for a big speech? Resources on the Web can help.

The Written WordWork through Writer's Block Need help working through some written projects? Two communication experts offer eight tips for clear and effective writing. Writing Well on the Web Hardly anybody really likes reading online. No surprise there, since so many websites are so poorly written. Here are easy ways to make your Web words more reader-friendly. Polish Your Prose Poor grammar and punctuation in proposals and reports could cost you business. TroubleshootingAre You Assertive or Aggressive? Assertiveness is the skill that tops the list for success or failure in any workplace situation. Learn how to be more assertive -- not aggressive -- and apply it to your interactions.

Get Your Point Across without Being Rude Is your communication style a little rough around the edges? Here are five techniques for saying what you mean without making enemies in the process. Communicating When People Leave You Speechless Improved communication is a nice idea, but can it work in the real world? Take a look at these real-life business issues and suggestions for better communication that may lead to better business.